She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Dick very happy bro
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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