All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
