I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
