also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
