I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
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It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize