You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
