I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize