ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
