Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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