oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
