I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
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i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
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Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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