I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
