and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
