So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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