come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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