Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
