I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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