Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
