Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.