my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.