her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I deserve this hangover.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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