I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I could fuck to npr.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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