My girlfriend figured out who you are.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Even my vagina gasped.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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