I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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