my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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