i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
