that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
