the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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