On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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