My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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