so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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