it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Congratulations! We have a period
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