I should be sponsored by Trojan
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
