i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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