i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
