Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
