I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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