Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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