you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
