what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
