he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
