so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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