I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
