Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
