Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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