Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize