Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
