oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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