My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
