On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
