Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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