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i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
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