she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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