Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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