There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
wow bdsm is so cute
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
