omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
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I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
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I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
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