At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
