Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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