Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
